Songs Only You Know: A Memoir

By Sean Madigan Hoen

Eighteen-year-old Sean Madigan Hoen used to be suffering to maintain his involvement within the city’s hardcore punk scene a mystery from his kin. Then he realized that his father, too, had a moment life—as a crack addict. 
 
Songs simply You Know begins within the '90s and spans a decade in which the kinfolk fights to carry itself jointly. Sean’s father cycles from rehab to binge, his heartsick sister spirals into melancholy, and his mom works to spare what could be spared. in the meantime, Sean seeks salvation in a group of eccentrics and outsiders, making tune Spin magazine once often called “an art-core mindfuck.” however the nearer Sean involves understanding his musical dream, the extra he drifts from his family members and himself.
 
via turns heartbreaking and mordantly funny, Songs simply you recognize is a fierce, compassionate rendering of the chaos and misadventure of a tender man’s lifestyles.

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The journey,” Andrew stated. “It’s no matter what you examine from it. the single selection is to make it approximately progress. ” Angela had long gone domestic exhausted with my mother, either short of for sleep, defenseless opposed to the warmth. darkish and sweltering. Of all evenings for the Stooges to reunite—Iggy the Iguana, 4 years older than my dad, and nonetheless strutting the world’s phases. the facility, although, had no longer back to the land. Pine Knob amphitheater used to be an unlit chasm and Will’s whereabouts have been unknown. “Willy,” Andrew stated.

I’d started feeling this approximately my complete lifestyles, as if it had consistently been happening in a size that existed except who i used to be. i wished to be diversified humans, or 3 or four—none of whom I loved totally. yet I imagined awaking years later to discover myself rooted on the planet, transparent in my feel of objective. A doting, obnoxious uncle to Caitlin’s young ones. I’d stopover at mother, having proved my errors had rounded me right into a dignified, honorable guy. possibly I observed a small condominium within the state, with cabinets of books and documents.

Tune used to be faint, coming from contained in the venue. “I simply desired to inform you,” she acknowledged. I’d intended it approximately Chicago, using all evening. I felt I had nowhere else to be, ever back. Angela used to be stalling; probably she didn’t think me. possibly she was once too sane to up and depart on the flip of the foremost, or even Blaine had injected his depraved rationale into our first second jointly. WE WALKED again towards the track as though we didn’t be aware of one another; yet we did, prior to we’d spoken a notice. such things as that ensue, notwithstanding I hadn’t identified it till that evening.

A few mornings I’d carried Dad’s outdated briefcase out the door with me, conversing into my mobile phone, even though nobody used to be at the line. no matter what disguise I’d controlled have been blown a pair days prior. a few associates have been celebrating my go back: Repa—home after a cross-country trucking job—and a small team who’d handed out at the front room flooring in a number of levels of nakedness. I’d slept an hour or so whilst Repa seemed above my mattress, shirtless with an unlit smoke in his mouth. “Ay,” he acknowledged, and Samhain scattered from the bed.

Then her eyes closed up, and she or he gasped numerous instances, a low, rainy, chalky noise damn out via her unmoving lips. “What is that this? ” I stated. “What’s taking place? ” And the nurse acknowledged, “It’s ok … she’s now not in discomfort … I simply now gave her lots of medication. ” I remained there within the morning, slumped in a chair beside my mom and dad as a neurosurgeon defined that the assessments had did not demonstrate mind task. None people believed it solely simply because there has been Caitlin’s center, blipping at the reveal. Her naked fingers, chillier than ordinary yet so gentle they felt like new.

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